You Know You Should Break Up With Your Boyfriend When…
Customer: “Hi, can my boyfriend enroll in my Beginner’s Spanish class that I started last week?”
Me: “Normally, yes, but that course is already full.”
Customer: “Well, can he enroll anyway?”
Me: “I would love to help, but we have a maximum number of students so as not to overwhelm the teacher and allow for more individualized attention, and we’re already at our max. So the course is not open to any new students.”
Customer: “Well he actually already speaks Spanish so he doesn’t actually need to take the course, he just wants to be there.”
Me: “Umm…..”
Customer: “See, he wants to do the course with me so we can spend time together. So he’ll totally pay for the course but he won’t like take up any of the teacher’s time. He just wants to you know BE with me.”
Me: “Right, how sweet…well the problem is we can’t allow people to just hang out in the classroom while other people are trying to work. And you wouldn’t really have time to spend with him if you’re focused on the lesson…right?”
Customer: “Yeah… well, he doesn’t mind. He just wants to watch and you know, be with me.”
Me: “Yeah, I’m getting that. Well, I can certainly ask my colleague who’s in charge of these courses, but I’m pretty sure the answer will still be no.”
Customer: “Well then can I just switch to the next course in a few months from now and then you can enroll both of us? I want to continue right now but he…you know.”
Me: “He just can’t leave you alone for two hours once a week?”
Customer: “Yeah…”
Me: “Right, I’ll have someone be in touch tomorrow and you can explain it all to them and see what can be worked out.”
Customer: “He just wants to spend time with me.”
Me: “I’m getting that. It’s very sweet (lying). We’ll see what we can do. I am sure we can make something work to make him happy. And you, of course.”
Customer: “Right…okay, I’ll wait to hear from someone tomorrow. He’s just…okay. Bye”
Me: Places head on desk and prays for vodka.
